In recent months I’ve been silently disillusioned and a little critical about many of the social media sites out there that I belong to, and have been stuck looking first at the negative rather than the positive.  I’ve been watching the sites become littered with spam and gamed by those who spin and weave and strategize strictly to gain followers and a perception of influence in very obvious ways. Many of those folks are short lived, but I’ve had to spend time cleaning out and re-aligning those I follow to keep my streams full of good information & conversation, and not so full of broadcast ads, spam, attention mongers or those who are never actually on the sites to respond back.  It’s a little harder to demonstrate and coach new clients on use, using my own streams as an example, when my streams become littered with this type of thing, but I do realize you need to pay attention and sometimes be selective of who you choose to follow so that you keep your streams relevant to what you want out of social media. You don't have to follow those that don't align with you. It takes nurturing and attention, just like everything that you care about, and I’ve had to keep reminding myself that not everyone has the same purpose for being in a particular space.

I’d assumed part of my cynicism was because of the funk I’ve been in for the last several months while caring for my dad, who was terminal and ultimately passed away last month. Events like that have a tendency to make a lot of other things seem petty to me.  My reaction is to get a bit quieter, rather than puking my discontent all over the internet, so I’ve been watching more than participating lately.  Today my attitude was nudged back toward center as I was reminded of some of the really beautiful things that happen thru social media, and remembered the many ways I’ve been touched in one way or another by the random acts of kindness from individuals I have never met in person.  I’ll list more examples in a future post, but for now, I’ll concentrate on what happened today.

First, I need to introduce you to my friend, Dan Leone, to help you know why this meant so much.  Dan and I have known each other thru social media for a few years now, and have become good friends over time.  When forming friendships and connections thru social media, distance isn’t really an obstacle - he’s in the Boston area, I’m in the Minneapolis/St.Paul area. Dan is intelligent, outgoing, funny,  generous and giving, fiercely loyal to his friends, and a dyed-in-the-wool dedicated family man with a beautiful wife and 3 darling children that he affectionately refers to as his Baby Goats – a play on the word ‘kid’.  He has many, many interests, and engages each of his connections on a level that makes every one of them feel validated. I admire that.  He’s simply a fine soul.

Dan also battles a cruel autoimmune disorder that most people have never heard of, and still have a hard time grasping once they have. It is called pyoderma gangrenosum– google it if you are curious, with a warning that the photos you will see are very graphic.  Or head over here or  here  to read Dan’s more lighthearted descriptions of the condition on his blog.  This disorder turns itself on and off at will, triggered in a way that is not understood completely by the medical profession, and there is not a ‘cure’ at this time. He simply does what he can to live life to the fullest when it is ‘off’ and manage it the best he can when it is ‘on’.  To help manage it, he’s been on a hefty course of immunosuppressants with the idea that suppressing the overactive immune system will prevent further flare ups.  That's a good theory. As you can imagine, however, suppressing your immune system causes its own flavor of complications over time.

Since Christmas last year – that’s 8 months ago now – Dan has struggled with a nearly continuous ‘on’ flare up.  He’s only had about 5 weeks of relief in that entire time period where life started returning to normal. Imagine it for a moment if you will – living for 8 months continuously with excruciatingly painful, large open ulcerated areas of dying skin and tissue that continue to grow and expand wider and deeper, and then start to fill in and shrink,  teasing  you with a glimpse of hope, only to reappear now in a new area. Did you google it? Did you see the photos or read his posts? These wounds have to be continuously cared for and dressed and managed several times daily, a very painful process. Things like walking and showering and getting in and out of the car and making it thru a workday and everyday home and family life - all while in intense pain are a struggle. But he has handled it with courage and grace, laced with his own brand of self-deprecating humor, and tries hard not to let it get the best of him.

The immunosuppressants have not done a great job of preventing flare ups or turning the condition ‘off’, but they’ve done a good job a suppressing his immune system in general, and for the last several weeks Dan has been very sick, adding to the difficulty of these open wounds. Last Wednesday he went to see his doctor because he was running a fairly high temp. The doctor took a look at him and sent him immediately to the ER, and he was ultimately admitted into the hospital that day. He is still there, 5 days later. They’ve run test after test, with nothing conclusive thus far. I’d wanted to send a card or get well gift of some sort, but kept thinking that surely “he’ll be home tomorrow” so procrastinated it, something I do far too often.  Saturday had been his youngest Baby Goat’s 7 year birthday party, and he missed it as he was still in the hospital. Now that made me sad, and then I learned that he was still sick even today, Sunday, and I stopped procrastinating.  It was time to send him something I knew he’d like. Dan and I share an appreciation for quality journals and notebooks, and I thought that might be a good way to pass some time for him. I began looking online for ways to accomplish getting this for him. I had two obstacles: 1) I’m in Mpls and he is in Boston, where I don’t know the town/services available and 2) it was Sunday afternoon – not exactly a high likelihood of finding a same day delivery service for this type of thing. I was starting to look for concierge services when I remembered that another friend and mentor, Chris Brogan (@chrisbrogan), also lives in or near that town. I sent Chris a message on Facebook asking if he knew of/could recommend such a service, not expecting a quick reply from him  – it’s Sunday after all. He did reply, and although he didn’t know of any services off the top of his head, he offered to put out a tweet to the locals. Before I could even respond to his offer, his good deed was set in motion. This is what he tweeted: Boston area: I need a Newton/Wellesley Hospital runner for a quick delivery chore to someone in need. Anyone available to help? DM or @ me.

Chris is well respected and has a large following, - within minutes Darion J Miller  of Hubspot (@darionjmiller) volunteered for the task with this response: @chrisbrogan @Hubspot employee here for service. What are some of the details/times?

It’s important to note here, that I don’t think Chris was even IN Boston at the time, and all he knew was that I had a friend in the hospital and I was asking for a recommendation on a service that could bring him a cheerful pick-me-up, and all Darion knew was that Chris was asking for help. He follows Chris, and trusted Chris’s integrity enough to volunteer before knowing completely what the task entailed.  Neither of them knew anything at all about Dan’s journey. After a few logistical messages behind the scenes, Darion willingly left the comfort and relaxation of his own Sunday afternoon, drove to Barnes and Noble to pick up the journal, based on a link he was supplied with, along with a card that he filled out, and then drove to the hospital and delivered it to Dan, who was a complete stranger to him. And what’s more, Darion was genuinely happy to be involved in something that brought someone else a smile.  What a beautiful thing!

I watched in awe as this transpired in the way it did, and am filled with so much gratitude – both to Chris for being the voice and to Darion for being the arms and legs. My geographic and weekend barriers were transcended via Social Media by two people who had nothing to gain from it except the knowledge they were helping someone out. Needless to say, it made Dan very happy, and he’s deeply touched by the giving spirits  and character of these two gentlemen.

Another twitter user had been watching this transpire also, and put together a graphic illustrating ‘The Power of Social Media and Random Acts of Kindness’. You can view the graphic by @esgarg  here: http://bit.ly/bI42qn.

Random acts of kindness, social media style.  Time to continue paying it forward!

 photos above taken by Darion J Miller